My tribute to my dear friend, Neelam Bains, who passed away, on September 17th, 2018. As I struggled to make sense of this loss, I wrote a poem to honour her life and our friendship. I miss you Deeds.
Neelam was a mother to two beautiful children, and a loving wife, and left behind a remarkable impact on many loved family members, as well as friends. She quite literally touched a large number of people, lit up any room she walked into and was a caring and generous soul. Neelam fought breast cancer and was in remission until 2 years ago when she found out she had metastatic liver cancer. Through her fight, in all these years, she always remained positive and was a pillar of strength and motivation. Neelam even fund-raised, for many years, started a charity along with her family in hopes of one day finding a cure for all those battling this unbearable disease. She cherished life, literally and figuratively, and was an example of how we all should embrace, live, laugh and love. She truly was one of a kind, and we all miss her and feel a void, but hope to keep her message and memory alive.
To learn more about Neelam, please find this interview I did with her in 2016 on insights of motherhood. She was an amazing mother, and all moms can take a page out her book, for sure. Click here for Neelam’s interview.
The world has seemed to have stopped, it feels so quiet as I think of you, my friend.
Do you know that I think of you? That we all think of you. Do you hear the sounds of love that surround you?
The air around you felt so fresh and comforting, just as any moment ever spent with you.
Perhaps because every moment spent with you has been warm, like sunshine itself, that no one person ever wanted those great moments to end.
How did you get here my friend? How did a short time allow you to cherish so much with so many?
It’s because you are special my friend.
One of a kind. A million parts don’t come close to account for the beauty you brought to this life, my friend.
You are a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, and a friend to all that were so lucky. You have left a mark both physically in your children’s hearts and faces. You have left a soulmate imprinted in a relationship only most can dream of. And you leave many many marks in many lives as your sisterhood capabilities reached us all.
Why you my friend?
I think it’s because the heavens and world beyond us need goodness too.
Your goodness, my friend is one of a kind.
It wasn’t fair my friend. That it was you…but we must not dwell on the why but rather find sheer gratitude that you chose us in your life, my friend.
Regardless you were always thankful my friend.
You were positivity in a world of darkness.
You helped people and gave from within.
You fought my friend.
You fought and smiled.
You loved my friend.
You loved fierce.
You are beauty beyond words my friend.
That beauty is etched forever in our mind, memory, hearts, in each soul you touched.
Your smile my friend…
It is that smile that we will miss most my friend. The dreams built for future are now broken and it hurts those you leave behind…hurts so deep it feels oceans have never had areas with as much depth. It feels like holes in holes in holes within holes….
But it is that smile, my friend that we will hold on to. That we each will remember. That will help guide us. That we will see in your beautiful children. That we will remind your loving partner of. That we will thank your family for.
Because that smile my friend was what was beyond just a smile. Perhaps we didn’t know it was limited for us here, but it has impacted us all…reached us all.
Thank you, my friend.
Thank you for all the smiles the laughs the love and the stamp you have left with that smile and all that is your essence.
Because all that is what made you… Truly, with no cliche, undeniably and wholeheartedly…
…one of a kind.
So though we wish not to say goodbye my friend. We want to choose not to believe it is that time my friend. To not allow an end come to seeing you, hearing you and sharing your air…
We must carry on your joy my friend.
Your message of love…
Sleep and rest my dear friend. For the world beyond is now blessed with this light…that is, always will be…one of a kind.
Neelam’s family has set up a fund page in her honour to donate to the BC Cancer Agency.