Mind Blowing

I love roller coasters, ever since I was little…they’re thrilling, scary and adventurous.  The dips make your stomach churn, the escalation builds suspense, and that moment cradling the top is reflection – reflection of what may occur next, because, well, it can be unpredictable. I think roller coasters and I have had an affinity, because it emulates life.  The good thing is, it’s a ride, and there is always an ending and a sense of walking away thinking “hmm, that was rough, but I know I could handle it”.

I think February was just that, one giant roller coaster…

To re-cap, in exact order:

  • my brother got ill and ended up in a hospital for 2 weeks 🙁
  • then my mother in law got ill 🙁
  • then my brother came home 🙂
  • my baby brother graduated with his degree 🙂
  • I had my second ultrasound 🙂
  • my sister turned 30 🙂
  • then my mother in law got really ill 🙁
  • one of my nephews turned 1 🙂
  • my grandma had a mild stroke 🙁
  • I went to the doctor, heard baby’s heartbeat again as well as them kicking away 🙂

Yes a tiring and long list, and I left out stuff like trying my first Romers burger, being there for some friends that went through a tough time, work stress, an amazing Valentine’s day from my hubby, and the buckets of rain we experienced this month (I am so over the rain by the way, seriously).  Nonetheless, I think it’s easy to see my point…life is full of ups and downs, some expected and some definitely not, just like a roller coaster.  We can’t control what will happen next, or how something will turn out, the only thing you can control is how you perceive the situation and what your attitude will be.  Oh yeah, and to hold on tight!

Because I’m pregnant, my close friends and family were afraid of me getting stressed out because of my nature to take on “too much”.  Knowing all that was happening, I had numerous people checking on me to ensure I was getting enough rest or not stressing.  To be honest…I was expecting to crack, but I didn’t.  I took each thing as it came, good or bad, celebrated or planned, and somehow managed to still make myself a priority, and (a big and) keep my cool.  I know why…it’s because of peanut, obviously.  I know he/she is depending on me to be good to myself first and foremost, to accept what’s happening and be happy nonetheless.

Here’s why friends…

Have you ever experienced a meal that tastes so good, you can’t bear to chew because that intense flavor you want to last forever?  Or how about the first time you hear “I love you” from your true love, heightened emotions because you are so ecstatic from the thrill that this is what you have been waiting for?  Well seeing your baby on a screen moving, having limbs, a heartbeat and a brain is one million times more intense than that!!!  Truly mind blowing!!! Everything I do, everything I eat, and every emotion I choose affects this child right now. Things will not always be peachy keen, roses, lilies and butterflies, there are times of utter chaos, agony and fear.  There will always be downs, but the ups are so worth it!  Couple that with anticipation…anticipation that one day I’m going to get to hold and look at this baby, anticipation of what is to come next.  So life is just unpredictable, but you take the dips with the highs and be ok with not always knowing what’s to come.  Just like a roller coaster.

Pardon the gender friendly terms, but we ended up deciding to not find out.  Honestly, after seeing the baby on screen I just stopped caring about knowing anything more, and just taking everything as it comes.  So you will know when we do!

Stay tuned, talk to you very soon.

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