I have 2 kids, aged 2 and under.
Wow….I can do it. Some days I can barely, but some way and some how I do it.
Life being busy and crazy is an understatement. I have now, only recently, learned that my over-ambitous tendency to think I can still make plans and meet up with people whenever I like is, well, over-ambitous. I needed to accept that, although I am managing and learning and getting better at it, some days are damn unpredictable and now my response to anything is “I will try, depends on the kiddies.”
I have a new found respect for my own mom who mothered 4 kids, each being 2 or 3 years apart. “How the hell did you do it woman?”
While I have now mastered being with both on my own, packing them in and out of the car, and traveling by myself with both; I still need assistance when I reach my destination. Caiden likes to run and play and completely embracing the terrible twos, while Rayna is a lot more chill but if she needs me it requires both hands…at which point Caiden (unless playing with trucks or watching Bubble Guppies) will suddenly want my attention too. So I am still not brave enough to venture out shopping or park trips alone. I will get there…I think.
Today, I over zealously have both kids in my room. We have been training Caiden to sleep in his room and new bed, so hubby has been sleeping in his room to transition him…while I am up with Rayna. Each morning after Vick goes to work Caiden comes into my room with blankie, his water bottle and a toy and climbs in…it’s cliché adorable…big Awwww. Well, today Caiden climbed in at night and passed out. So I suggested leave him…maybe by cuddling with me he will sleep in and I get some Caiden cuddle time in. I was excited. However, I forget my angel baby Rayna is a party animal. So needless to say it’s 4am, I am awake. I have one kid sleeping laterally in my bed across all pillows, another on her second sleeper change, 5th diaper change and smiling as she spits up yet again.
What was I thinking?
Meanwhile I basically gave hubby the night off, I can hear him snoring. Stupid me. No further comment on that.
I also realized how ambitious it is to think you may be able to pull off everything. I try to be super everything and its humbling to admit I am human, my kids come first so that means I physically may not be able to do everything.
So, here are just some things I now know and hopefully can pass on as advice:
1. Accept that spit-up on shirts will become your accessory vs. those cool necklaces now collecting dust in your jewelry box…half broken from being tugged at so you no longer bother.
2. It is perfectly normal to still be in your PJs at 2pm on some days, and yes unexpected guests or delivery people will see you in them.
3. Showers are meant for night-time, when you have a spare person around.
4. You cannot have FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Reality is you can’t be there like you used to for everyone else because you may not have the time or the energy and that is alright.
5. You will need to let go of the fact you cannot control all happenings and therefore schedules, though awesome to have, some days go out the window.
6. Accept help when you have it. It does not make you less of a parent…don’t abuse it, but if you have a spare hand and they are willing…use it!
7. Everything comes in stages and phases. Bad habits pass, sleepless nights pass, and they grow so fast…so let it be…take it all in. If you cannot get to the dishes or laundary, leave it be…go play and take a time out…housework is not that important…always.
This is reality with 2 wee ones…the fun is sooooo fun, the tiring parts are worth it but yes very tiring. And the crazy parts…well that’s the beauty of it all.
My kids will be grown before I know it, this will be a distant memory and hopefully they will be as close as their ages.
This is one of those posts I am not over editing….it’s raw late night mommyness. It is 5am and I am going to now cuddle my son, who will be up in 2 hours ready to tackle the day while my daughter will sleep…sigh I hope they will love me forever…they better.
Goodnight (but really good morning)